Many family members with a loved one who has an addiction struggle with being firm and direct because they love and care about them. They don’t want to be considered “hateful” or “mean”, and they want to do whatever is in their power to help their loved one. If you have a tough time establishing and maintaining boundaries with a loved one who has an addiction, you may want to consider whether your needs are truly being met. The following are symptoms that fall under the category or individuals who take too much concern over making others happy instead of themselves:
- Pretending to agree with everyone, whether you do or not. If you agree with others in to avoid conflict or to get them to like you more, you may be compromising your values.
- Feeling responsible for how other people feel. Recognizing your actions and their influence on others is appropriate, but taking responsibility for others’ emotions and behavior isn’t.
- Often apologizing. Psychology Today notes that blaming yourself often or fear of others blaming you isn’t healthy. You can have feelings and you shouldn’t have to take the blame when others are at fault.
- Placing others as top priority throughout your day-to-day tasks. If most of your day is filled with tasks that are for other people, you may be struggling with placing yourself as a priority.
- Having a challenging time saying “no”. If you have an innate fear of being blamed, you may lean towards saying “yes” to things you may otherwise disagree on. This may cause you to go against your moral or expend too much of your time and money which you cannot afford to lose.
- Disliking when someone is angry or upset with you. If you find yourself wanting to “keep the peace” and going along with something just to make others happy, you are likely placing others’ needs above your own.
These are just a few signs that you may be avoiding your personal feelings to make others happy. Dr. John Grohol, CEO of Psych Central, states that feelings of hopelessness, passive-aggressive behavior, emotional perfectionism, low self-esteem, and fear of rejection are just a few causes for why you may be having a tough time telling your loved one how you really feel. Seeking therapy may help you to work through these emotions and determine the best course of action for you.
If you or a loved one are seeking a world-renowned, California state-licensed substance abuse recovery treatment program, call us today at 888-743-0490. Simple Recovery believes in providing clients with the resources they need to succeed. We believe in holistic recovery, meaning that we will work with you to develop the tools needed to restore and rebalance your mind, body, and spirit. Call us today for a consultation.