If addiction has hit your family, it will be a challenging road ahead, and it’s important that you educate yourself on these challenges and find ways that you can cope and heal from old wounds. As the Institute for Family Studies states,
“Addiction can be especially brutal on marriage. Spouses often feel helpless watching the one they love self-destruct, and they also feel angry about their partner’s deception and betrayals. When addiction strikes a marriage, spouses need to face the reality of addiction and be careful not to become an enabler.”
There are many steps that you can take to work towards healing and growing from past hurts from your loved one. Some of these steps will require you take them on your own, while others will require both of you working together:
- Take care of yourself. While this may seem counterintuitive, Psych Central states that maintaining a balance between your partner’s recovery and your self-care when it comes to your attention is important – if you’re taking proper care of yourself, you will have the means and energy to take proper care of your loved one as well.
- Focus on your own healing, too. Addiction affects not only your loved one, but you as well. Attend family member support groups. Attend counseling with your loved one. Find your own support system to help you get through this time. By doing this, you can help heal old wounds while rebuilding yourself so that your relationship can improve as well.
- Set boundaries. Talk with your partner about what is expected of them when they return home. Discuss what you will and will not allow – explain consequences if old patterns seem to creep up again. Talk to them about an action plan for relapse and have a group of people each of you can rely on if you need help.
- Encourage their recovery activities. Even on days when your significant other doesn’t feel like it, encourage their attendance to group meetings and individual therapy. They need a dedicated support system to push them to attend, even if they are feeling tired, angry, depressed, etc.
You cannot do this alone, and you shouldn’t expect to. Understand that your loved one needs a whole support network they can rely on – this often includes an addiction recovery leader, peers, a therapist, psychiatrist, and others on the healthcare team. Allow yourself to rely on these individuals if you need more guidance, because you’re not alone.
Simple Recovery is a world-renowned, California state-licensed substance abuse recovery treatment center. If you struggle with substance abuse, make the decision to take back control over your life by seeking help. Our licensed, experienced health care team will work with you to restore your mind, body, and spirit. Call us today at 888-743-0490 for a consultation.