Addiction: Self Will Run Riot

Woman at desk with head in hand

Addiction is, among other things, typified by a number of behaviors, routines and rituals all in service of the disease. Whether your drug of choice is alcohol or drugs, much of one’s time in active addiction is spent planning and preparing for their next drunk or high. Hours of the day can easily be spent making certain steps to ensure, that when all is said and done, euphoria will be achieved. And once it is, a switch is usually flipped sending the mind back into what will be required of one to ensure they are able to experience the same desired sensations again. The disassociation from one’s internal demons providing a brief respite from the symptoms of the mental illness known as addiction.

In treatment centers and the various rooms of recovery it is often said that drugs and alcohol are but symptoms of a much greater problem. Self will run riot. A burning desire to affect and control not only yourself, but those around you as well. All things in your sphere of existence. In reality, believing that you can control the world around you is the ultimate example of selfishness. But, it is merely a delusion.

Those who have been working a program of recovery learn pretty early-on that the only person who can affect any actual change is oneself. Equipped with certain tools and the support of others, one can manage to mitigate the constant needs of self-will that precipitated and propelled one into the death spiral of active addiction in the first place. A dangerous force that causes people to burn every bridge in service of such a destructive need.

Reigning In Self Will

A lot of focus in recovery is directed towards exercises in selflessness. The fall to rock bottom is usually evidence enough that your way of living wasn’t working. That the only true outcome of the unachievable desire to rule over one’s sphere of existence was pain and suffering. In recovery, however, it is greatly important that one channel some of the energy that has long been focused on your needs alone to the needs of others. Being of service to something greater than yourself.

People new to recovery, generally, learn early on that the world does not, in fact, revolve around them and their desires. You learn that such misperceptions often fuel the fire of this most serious mental health disorder. Being an active participant in a program of recovery teaches you that the inside of your head can be dangerous, and the ticket out is following the suggestions of those who came before you, volunteering to help where help is needed and being there for your peers when they need you to be. Being unable to do such things is often a good sign that self-will is still running the show.

Even If You Do Not Want To…

Reigning in self-will is not easy. It usually takes some time in early recovery to be able to translate the writing on the walls. The driving forces of active addiction that need to be addressed in recovery, if it is to take. Others in recovery will suggest that you take certain steps, adopt different ways of looking at things and at times do things that you are averse to in more than one way. They will urge you to not let fear of this new way of living be a catalyst to relapse. Such suggestions, being the way to keep the monkey wrench in the gear works of the pernicious cycle of addiction. Just as one had to do various things to ensure a fix for the day while “out there,” the same must be done in recovery to achieve the goal of long term sobriety.

The light of recovery is felt by being of service to something bigger, a higher power and the others in your support network. This cannot be achieved without the help of others, and they need your help, too. When one makes the courageous decision to recover from alcohol and substance use disorders by way of treatment, they are deciding to no longer be ruled by fear and self will. At Simple Recovery, you or a loved one is taught about the power of community in recovery. Addiction is typified by solitude—recovery by community. Please contact us today to begin the life changing journey of recovery.