Codependent relationships often go hand in hand with addiction. Addiction causes a person to be extremely emotionally unavailable, leaving their loved one fighting for their attention. Codependency is an unhealthy attachment to another human being, resulting in emotional harm. Five signs of a codependent relationship include:
- Your partner’s mood dictates your mood. When you’re in a codependent relationship, you have the inability to make decisions for yourself. You may feel a certain way, but are afraid to vocalize your opinion. If your partner is in a bad mood, you may feel afraid to show joy because you fear they will lash out at you.
- You feel like nothing you do is good enough. As a codependent, you are a people pleaser. You long to make others happy, and hope to receive praise for your hard work. Yet, it seems that no matter what you do, your partner never reacts the way you hoped they would. You desire their approval, but they always keep you at arm’s length and don’t show appreciation for the things you do.
- You can’t say no. In correspondence with the previous indication, you may also feel like you can never say no to requests made by your codependent partner because you want to make them happy. You put their happiness far above your own needs, resulting in neglect to your well being. Constantly saying yes when you really want to say no results in deep resentment and jeopardizes your integrity.
- You worry about your partner leaving you. Lots of people have a fear of their partner leaving them, which can occasionally be justified because of the level of commitment in their relationship. People with kids may stay together for their well being or a stay at home parent may worry their spouse will leave and they will have no livelihood to survive off. Complications such as these can make an already suffering codependent relationship worse.
- Your partner often crosses the line and can be abusive. When you’re in a codependent relationship, you may frequently feel afraid of your partner. You might worry about how their mood is going to be and what you can do to make them the least reactive to certain situations. They may attempt to disallow you to go places alone or get suspicious and accusatory of your actions if you did go. Sometimes, they can become emotionally abusive and tell you you’re not worthy of love or that you’re useless.
Codependent relationships can be extremely demoralizing and damaging to a person’s self worth. The indicators above are not signs of a healthy relationship. Sometimes a relationship cannot heal and grow unless the person suffering from addiction gets help, but that can’t be forced. The most important thing you can do as the loved one of an addict, is learn to say no. You can’t let others dictate your feelings or control your actions. Be who you are and the right person will love you exactly the way you are.
Our multi-tiered program is designed to help your loved one find success on a new path in life through school, work, and meaningful volunteering. Structured for progress, clients at Simple Recovery transition seamlessly through each phase of their recovery. Call us today for information: 888-207-0965